Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
The other day, my son, Drummer Boy, told me something funny. You know, the cute stuff kids say when they’re the ripe old age of seven-almost-eight.
“Wait, repeat that!” I told him while grabbing my phone to capture this moment for posterity.
“No,” he replied nonchalantly.
“What? Why not?” I asked, phone in my hand, ready to win this round.
“Because, you’re going to put it on Facebook or something, and I don’t want it to be where everyone can see it,” he stated, bluntly, and innocently forcing me to re-think my integrity as a parent.
Long story short, I didn’t post it to Facebook, the internet, or my blog.
It was left between Drummer Boy and myself.
One of a series of moments that make up the story of our life together.
A moment that will be shared with his dad, his sister, his grandparents.
But not with random strangers he doesn’t know.
There is an entire blog I could devote to the subject of how fine a line there really is between sharing cute stuff your children do, and exploiting them for entertainment. But this is not that blog.
I saw something in what my son said that spoke to the very heart of why I do ministry, and what motivates my teaching.
How often do I take something God told me in the Secret Place and use it in a teaching or a song?
Too many to count, really.
Nothing wrong with that, right?
Unless, God wanted to speak to my heart a secret for only me.
A secret no one else should know right now.
Many times in Jesus’ ministry He did a miracle, or revealed a secret about Himself, and then would say, “Tell no one.”
The shepherds ran to the manger and saw the Baby Jesus. They knew He was the Messiah, they heard the angels’ song, heard the angelic proclamation. They left the stable to tell everyone that Jesus was born.
What did Mary do?
“But Mary kept all these things and pondered them in her heart.” (Luke 2:19)
Sometimes, God gives us secret things to treasure and ponder in our heart.
God promised me my husband would come back to his first Love again.
Biker Man was angry at God. After the death of our son, he wanted nothing to do with ministry, or even deeper relationship with Jesus. He didn’t even know he was mad at God, actually.
I knew. And so many times over the next several years, I wanted to tell him, to show him how wrong he was in his response.
But the Holy Spirit said, “Be quiet. Say nothing. Stay out of it. This is his wrestling match with the Almighty. Before it’s over, I will touch him and his walk will never be the same.”
(for another story like this, read Genesis 32:22-32.)
So I bit my tongue, prayed more, and in the process of pondering, learned my husband’s love language in a way I never would have, had I blabbed my word from the Lord.
And now, he walks with a limp.
I’m in awe of the overwhelming power of the love of our Heavenly Father.
He will keep His promises.
He will fulfill His Word.
He is faithful.
And sometimes, we have to keep it a secret.
Ponder it, pray over it, and wait in patience for the promise to be fulfilled.