Recap Of God's Faithfulness

It's been awhile.

The past few months (ok, almost a year) have tried and tested our faith.

Our family has seen the faithfulness of God in a hospital in Romania, where we rushed Ellie after a freak seizure.

Continued grace as we completed our 6 weeks in this beautiful country we came to understand and embrace, with beautiful souls we connected with and still pray over.

Clarity in the midst of frustration as I rushed Ellie through a thunderstorm 5 hours back to our hometown from a beach retreat with XMC students.  She had had another seizure.

Guidance to the right doctor, the right neurologist, the right dosage of meds.

God spoke to me through my amazing daughter's perspective.

I was scheduled to minister in Australia for a month following XMC graduation, June/July.

With all the challenges our newfound diagnosis had brought, I seriously was considering canceling the trip.

Talking my decision through with Ellie (because that's how we roll in our house), I began giving her my concerns of why I probably shouldn't go overseas when we were still navigating the waters of uncertainty following her diagnosis.

Ellie put her hand on my arm and leaned in to look me directly in the eyes.

"Mom. Don't be dramatic."

"Excuse me?"

"I'll be fine."

"Well, I'm sure. Daddy will be here, but I was just worried about leaving you. I don't want to leave you when we're still not sure about all this..."

"Mom." Ellie interrupted. "God has a plan and a purpose for everyone. You know He has a purpose for my life, and even if I have another seizure, I know good will come out of it. The Bible says God works everything out for good."

"Well, yes, I know that..."

"...and Mom," she continued earnestly, "you shouldn't worry about me. Jesus will take care of me. You need to go lead worship. Go sing and tell people about Jesus. I'm seriously fine."

Well.

I did go to Australia for a month. 

I ministered over 14 times in 4 cities, various smaller towns, and saw salvations, healings, and true worship birthed in the hearts of those who had been hurting, depressed and alone.

Upon my return, we geared up for another year of XMC to start, and welcomed 65 students.

I have had the privilege and honor of working not only with Pastors Shawn and Nichole Marcell again this year, but my wonderful husband, Biker Man joined the staff this year! How cool is God's goodness.

I've taken students to a few different churches, Teen Challenge, a weekly chapel at a small school, as well as our weekly classes and rehearsals.

In the midst of it all, I've seen Ellie grow both discouraged (after having another seizure) and then more determined to not accept the diagnosis as a permanent fixture in her life. The latter attitude came as a result of her going off by herself to think and pray about whether or not she should take ownership of said diagnosis.

Her decision?

"The doctor said I can outgrow this. I have decided not to blame every time I'm tired or feeling weak on a diagnosis."

Biker Man, Drummer Boy and I are backing her decision.

She will continue to take her meds, and follow the guidelines from her neurologist, until his diagnosis is the same as hers. Healed.

I just took Ellie with me two weeks ago to speak at a camp in Sydney, Australia.

She had a blast. The most rewarding part of the week there, for me, was seeing her receive the love of God in a deeper way. Pressing in to worship, sharing what Jesus means to her with other students, competing in squadron battles, and just hanging out with me in our off time was a gift to this mom's heart.

She is still somewhat recovering from jet lag, but back to her sweet, caring-although-sometimes-sarcastic self.

As I sit here, pondering the past few months and the immense changes they have wrought in all four of us, I know these changes are for the better. 

Because they brought about a sharper awareness of God's presence and present mercies on our lives. 

A firmer understanding of His love that shapes our hearts. 

A fiercer trust in Jesus and His faithfulness to us.

And I know these changes were brought about, not just by what happened to Ellie, but mostly, by our reaction to it.

God has been giving me songs during this past year. Part of the "one more reason to worship" time in my life, I guess! I'll share one next blog.

Thanks for reading!

The King's Daughter

I've been studying this subject for the past year and a half.

Since the last time I came to Romania.

When God completely wrecked me.

I had accompanied my friends Nichole, Teresa, and Autumn to help out at a women's conference here, and the second night of our stay, we were invited to a prayer meeting.

I found a spot on the floor (the room was packed) and proceeded to start petitioning God for the people of Romania, women attending the conference, open doors during our stay... you know, what I thought God wanted me to pray.

Boy, was I unprepared for what happened next.

God spoke to me in such a sweet, tender way.

I am so proud of you.

So proud to call you Daughter.

If you couldn't sing or play or write, I would still take pride in you.

I would delight in you.

Now, I know God's love for me doesn't hinge on my abilities.

I tell my students in worship institute to not judge God's use of their giftings on stage as criteria of His approval of them.

But it hit me in a new way, and rocked my world.

What would have otherwise been a routine missions trip turned into every day seeing the world through the eyes of awe, humility, compassion, and newfound joy in being validated as a chosen Daughter of the King.

I cried.  

A lot.

When I got back to the States, I talked to my friend, Sarah, about my experiences in Romania.

She very matter of factly summed it up for me.

"Kari, I think God delights in freaking us out. Because it's all about relationship for Him.  Everything is about His relationship with us.  God had to get you out of your routine and environment to a place where you could hear Him speak to you in a new way."

(I love that girl.)

It started me on a journey of listening and learning WHOSE I am.

Who He says I am.

The above verse states that the daughter of the King is all glorious within.

His glory resides within me.

Within me He dwells.

When I discover His glory, simply being in His presence, I cannot do anything other than receive all of Him.

In His glory I am undone.

In His glory I am moved to worship Him.

So I will be adding to this in the days to come, snippets of this teaching God is giving me.

This is a song that was sort of a theme song for my students last year. 

Stay tuned! Thanks for reading.

No Substitute

There is no substitute for these amazing world changers surrounding me.

My investment in them is immeasurable.

We have laughed until we can't breathe at inside jokes.

We have cried as loss, casually and indiscriminately, takes someone from our lives.

We have hurled words of anger in the heat of the moment, out loud, or under our breath.

We have taken back those same words in repentant realization that we didn't mean it, that nothing is worth hurting those you are closest to.

We have watched in wonder as one of us grows closer to Jesus through sacrifice and prayer.

No one can replace the fiercely loyal and joyously abandoned love we have for each other.

We have traversed miles upon miles over mountains, deserts, snowy plains, and beaches....

Around the globe, hearing various languages, seeing different nationalities.

We have worshiped with brothers and sisters we didn't know we had, until we met...with only Christ as our common denominator.

I'm so very thankful to begin yet another year with my family at my side.

And I'm on their side.

As we are on the Lord's side.

Doing life together.

Until God calls us Home.

Christ As Lord

I came across this as I was scrolling through my notes to teach my worship students.

It was a post I did for our women's ministry blog, Joli, awhile back.

I never posted it here, but when I read it today, I thought I should.

Enjoy!

Christ As Lord

“But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts, and always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear.”

(1 Peter 3:15)

When I first read this verse in my Bible, I figured, “I already sanctify God in my heart.  I recognize Him as Lord, I want to tell everyone the Good News of what Jesus did for me, I realize He is holy, He is the One True God.”

Then, recently, I came back to this verse.

Sanctify.

When I took that word apart, it literally means “To Set Apart.”

Set apart.

Separate.

Isolate.

Single Out.

The Lord God.

These three words were translated “Christ As Lord.”

As King of all kings.

As Lord of all lords.

As ruler above all rulers.

The only One claiming the right of owning my heart.

The only One worthy of all my worship.

All.  My.  Worship.

How many other things in my little world crowd Jesus out until I can’t differentiate His voice from the demands of life pulling me towards the wider road?

Away from the Still Small Voice calling me to come deeper?

He doesn’t demand me to come.

He bids me to come and lean my head on His lap and receive strength.

Yet, as I come and fall at His feet, I know He requires my all.

Fully abandoned.

Completely surrendered.

Surrendering everything.

Any hope of recognition by man.

Every thought that wanders in its desire for the world.

Any thought that makes Christ less than He is.

Every vain imagination.

Without all of me, there cannot be room for all of Jesus.

Without Him, I am hopelessly undone.

And in that understanding, there is freedom.

Complete peace.

Because, as I empty out the needy caverns of my heart, Jesus fills them with Himself.

Drummer Boy Skills

I took this video a couple months ago at a friend's house.

{Exhibit A}:

We don't have a real drum set at our house, although a drummer friend of ours gave his old electric drum set to Drummer Boy for Christmas.

He plays drums constantly.

With anything resembling drumsticks.  Pencils, straws, sticks from the yard, his index fingers, you get the picture.

So it came as quite a surprise when he suddenly showed a knack for the fiddle, upon hearing Charlie Daniels on the radio.

{Exhibit B}:

He's definitely got the music (in him).

Living Life....and not posting about it.

I've been hanging out with these two lovelies.

It's one of the main reasons for my not posting since May.

But I'm not regretful of my decision to use my off-time not to blog, but to read, play, talk, etc. WITH my children.

How else would I learn that Ranch Oyster Crackers dipped in hot chocolate is a delicacy? (As I sit here watching them eat said crackers, an unexpected shiver goes up my spine, but I want to try it myself.)

What other 10 year old girl could make me proud by saving her hard earned babysitting money (don't freak out and label me an absent mom, she had adult supervision.) and buying Christmas gifts for her brother, younger cousins, grandparents, aunts and uncles.

What other 8 year old boy would challenge me to read my Bible, pray, trust wholeheartedly in God for anything, by his example in daily life?  (Just now, his sister burned her finger making hot chocolate, and his immediate response was, "I prayed for your finger to feel better, Ellie.")

We are beyond blessed to have had my parents spend Christmas with us.  We get another whole week of grandparent fun before they have to head back to Oklahoma, and then back home to Australia.

Can I even begin to express how grateful I am for these amazing parents of mine?

I've been trying to glean as much wisdom and Biblical truth from them as I can.

Lots of late night talks, afternoon talks, morning talks, in-between talks.

The presence of Christ surrounds them wherever they go, and our house has felt the effects.

I'm seriously going to try to share them later on this week with some friends, but for now I'm content to be considered selfish in my time with them.  (See?  Sometimes selfishness isn't all bad.  Like that counter with the sink in it you use in the bathroom.  It's a vanity.  But that doesn't make it a sin.)

I look forward to many many more memory-making moments with my extraordinary family.

And I shall endeavor to be more consistent in posting on my blog.

Summary.

Okay, so we were in Australia for five, yes, five weeks.  It was an amazing, exhilarating, fulfilling and somewhat life altering experience. 

We were privileged to see lives restored to their original purpose in Christ, hearts mended, minds renewed, and people brought into right relationship with Jesus. 

 

Biker Man preached.

He brought the Word.

It was awesome.

One message he gave was called “How To Be A Failure In Ministry.”

I could see some individuals scratching their heads, until he explained that to most Christians and the Church today, Jesus’ ministry would not be considered successful.  He picked His disciples in their workplace.  None of them were chosen by their local rabbi to pursue further ministry study at the synagogue, they were told to go back home and pursue their father’s trade.

Jesus had to, on more than one occasion, bring correction to his followers for lack of faith.  

Jesus’ disciples all forsook Him in His deepest hour of need, one betrayed Him, another denied Him, and they all went into hiding after His death.

Yet, He is the Model we are to follow.

After His resurrection and ascension, Jesus sent them the Holy Spirit, and His disciples became the world changers He called them to be.

True discipleship.  Living out our faith for others to follow.  Lovingly bringing correction where it’s needed.  Giving of ourselves again and again, willingly and freely.  Pouring out the water on dusty feet, even the ones who will leave and betray us.

Because it was never about Him.  Jesus told the ones He healed, “Tell no one, but go and show yourself to the priest.”

Why?  Most ministries today would proclaim, “Check it out!!  Healing ministry taking place!!  Come and get it!!”  (Okay, maybe not exactly like that, but you get what I’m saying.)

Because.....

(and this was the part Biker Man drove home)

Jesus’ ministry on earth was never about bringing glory to Himself.  Jesus was always pointing the people to His Father.  Jesus wasn’t glorified until after He was raised from the dead!

And it’s not until we are crucified with Christ and raised to new life in Him that our lives can in any way bring glory to the Father.  We live for Christ, to bring others into relationship with Him, and build His kingdom.  Not to build a “mini kingdom” of our own.

That’s not the entire message, but it’s in a nutshell what was preached.

Really good, right?

I loved it.

So now we’re back in the good ol’ US of A.  It’s great to be home.

Except it has taken over a week to get our clocks back on USA time.

Australia is 16 hours ahead.  Sixteen.

For a few nights, Ellie and Drummer Boy would be wide awake at three am.  Hungry.  Really.  Hungry.

Because it was six pm in Australia.  Dinner time.

“Well, it’s not dinner time right now,” I would calmly and deliriously explain, with one eye peering at them.

“But mom! We can’t sleep!  It could be a bedtime snack!” 

“GO.  TO.  SLEEP.  NOW.”  (Waaaayyyy easier said than done.)

Those nights are behind us now.

Thank you so much for praying for us as we traveled.  We are so grateful to be part of such a wonderful family like Crossroads, and an even bigger family of believers like you!  Thank you for keeping us held up in prayer!  More testimonies to come, sooner than later, I promise.

And we're off!

After months of phone calls, fundraising, and prayer, we are leaving.

In one hour.

For Australia.

We are so excited!

We will be partnering with pastors and ministers over there, traveling, leading worship, and teaching.

The pastors' conference in New Guinea was cancelled, due to two earthquakes, and some unrest in the country. Pray for the Bible college and churches there.

We thought that cancellation would give us some downtime during which we could hang out with my parents (whom we haven't seen in two years!).

But, almost immediately, those slots were filled within Australia. The wonderful news is that those services are in Toowoomba, where my parents are! God definitely has a plan in us going at this time.

Ellie and Drummer Boy wanted to start a blog/club, as they cannot have a clubhouse at home. They just aren't here that much. Please go check it out and leave an encouraging message for them. There are games for you (or your kids) to play, and they will be posting pictures from the road (or foreign country). Check it out here.

Also, our itinerary is up. It's still missing some details, but you can see when where we will be in your area, so come see us! And please visit our website, nocompromiseintl.com and pray for us.

I will post pictures and news as I can.

Here we go!

Sssshhh....it's a secret.

(I also posted this for the Joli blog today, so if you've already visited there and read this, my apologies.)

The other day, my son, Drummer Boy, told me something funny. You know, the cute stuff kids say when they’re the ripe old age of seven-almost-eight.

“Wait, repeat that!” I told him while grabbing my phone to capture this moment for posterity.

“No,” he replied nonchalantly.

“What? Why not?” I asked, phone in my hand, ready to win this round.

“Because, you’re going to put it on Facebook or something, and I don’t want it to be where everyone can see it,” he stated, bluntly, and innocently forcing me to re-think my integrity as a parent.

Long story short, I didn’t post it to Facebook, the internet, or my blog.

It was left between Drummer Boy and myself.

A moment.

One of a series of moments that make up the story of our life together.

A moment that will be shared with his dad, his sister, his grandparents.

But not with random strangers he doesn’t know.

There is an entire blog I could devote to the subject of how fine a line there really is between sharing cute stuff your children do, and exploiting them for entertainment. But this is not that blog.

I saw something in what my son said that spoke to the very heart of why I do ministry, and what motivates my teaching.

How often do I take something God told me in the Secret Place and use it in a teaching or a song?

Too many to count, really.

Nothing wrong with that, right?

Usually....no.

Unless, God wanted to speak to my heart a secret for only me.

A secret no one else should know right now.

Many times in Jesus’ ministry He did a miracle, or revealed a secret about Himself, and then would say, “Tell no one.”

The shepherds ran to the manger and saw the Baby Jesus. They knew He was the Messiah, they heard the angels’ song, heard the angelic proclamation. They left the stable to tell everyone that Jesus was born.

What did Mary do?

“But Mary kept all these things and pondered them in her heart.” (Luke 2:19)

Sometimes, God gives us secret things to treasure and ponder in our heart.

God promised me my husband would come back to his first Love again.

Biker Man was angry at God. After the death of our son, he wanted nothing to do with ministry, or even deeper relationship with Jesus. He didn’t even know he was mad at God, actually.

I knew. And so many times over the next several years, I wanted to tell him, to show him how wrong he was in his response.

But the Holy Spirit said, “Be quiet. Say nothing. Stay out of it. This is his wrestling match with the Almighty. Before it’s over, I will touch him and his walk will never be the same.”

(for another story like this, read Genesis 32:22-32.)

So I bit my tongue, prayed more, and in the process of pondering, learned my husband’s love language in a way I never would have, had I blabbed my word from the Lord.

And now, he walks with a limp.

I’m in awe of the overwhelming power of the love of our Heavenly Father.

He will keep His promises.

He will fulfill His Word.

He is faithful.

And sometimes, we have to keep it a secret.

Ponder it, pray over it, and wait in patience for the promise to be fulfilled.

It is so worth the wait.