For the SAME thing.
She was being sneaky. I caught her. I told her sneaking behind my back to do something she knew she was not allowed to do was the same thing as lying.
LYING. Something God cannot abide. And neither can I.
After the consequences of her sin, and praying, she told me (with tears) that she didn't want to be sneaky. She was sorry. I forgave her.
Not an hour later, I caught her trying to sneak something else.
REALLY???!!!
(Deeeep breath.)
"Ellie, you just told me you were sorry, and you didn't want to lie to me anymore, didn't you?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"And you told me that you think I'm the best mom in the whole world, and that you love me forever?"
"Yes, I do, Mom!"
"Well, how can I believe that you love me, if you continue to disobey me? For the same thing, even?"
She dropped her head.
"I don't know." She whispered.
So now, much later, I pondered this evening's events and came to this conclusion as I looked at one of Ellie's journal entries from this year.
I do the same thing with God.
"God, You are great, awesome, and powerful! You can do anything, and I love You!"
"Did you do what I asked you to do?"
"Well, I'm praying about it, and making sure it will fit in with the agenda I've already got."
"So you're still doing what you want to do."
"Uh, well, God, I want to, and I really feel led to, it's just that I'm so busy doing all this other stuff for You."
"So...you're NOT going to do what I asked you to."
"No, Lord! I am, just after I get all this other stuff done!"
"Kari, how can you tell Me how much you love Me, and sing praises to Me, when you can't obey Me?"
I bow my head.
"I'm sorry, Lord. I'll stop sneaking around with my list of things to do for You, and get busy doing what You already asked me to do."
"That's all I'm asking for, your heart of obedience."
"Okay. It's all Yours. I won't hold anything back."
"Kari."
"Yes, Lord?"
"My grace is sufficient for you."
"Thanks, Father."
1 comment:
That's how I felt! God is so merciful, and then He enables me to do His will!
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